“They Come Through You, But Not From You…”

September 15th, 2011

Our daughter, Willa, moved to Denver after graduating from college a year ago and invited us to visit Labor Day weekend, which was an invitation we didn’t want to pass up. We arrived just before a big thunderstorm and were happily unpacking at the Oxford Hotel during the downpour. Our hotel turned out to be right down the street from the famous bookstore the Tattered Cover www.tatteredcover.com, which I had heard so much about through the years. We braved the rain and headed toward the refuge of a cozy bookstore. We weren’t disappointed – it was wall to wall books in a cool old building which kept us entertained until we met Willa at the 1st Friday of the month art walk www.artdistrictonsantafe.com on Santa Fe street.  Some of the students from the nonprofit she works for “Arts from Ashes” www.artfromashes.org , an organization which works with disadvantaged youth to find their voices through poetry, were speaking at an arts center and we had the pleasure of hearing their moving works. All of the poems were powerful but two of them stuck with me as they both spoke of love.  In one poem  a young man wrote about the sweet, deep love he felt for his new girlfriend, reminding me of the intensity of  my first true love. I was touched that this young man would share these deep feelings in an open forum. It took a lot of courage as it did for Lucifury, a guest poet for Arts and Ashes and winner of last year’s national poetry slam.  His piece centered on the experience of running into an ex-girlfriend at a bar who told him that she had aborted his child.  He expressed the anger he felt towards the woman for not telling him that he was a father, the guilt he felt about the abortion and love for his unborn child.  I believe in a woman’s right to choose but this poem made me think about the effects this choice has on the father of the child.  I feel so blessed that this has not been a choice I have had to make in my life and empathize with those that consciously choose this solution to an unplanned pregnancy. As our daughter showed us around her new city and introduced us to co-workers and friends, I thought of the Kahlil Gibran poem On Children.  I needed to remind myself of his words that ‘Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you… ‘   His soothing words help me to remember that she has her own life ahead of her and she will make her own choices – not mine –  and that this is perfect. We spent the rest of the weekend experiencing the BCycle bike sharing system in Denver, hanging out in her cozy artsy apartment, eating yummy food at my favorite breakfast spot “Watercourse”, talking about art, books, music and politics with her old and new friends, hiking up to the Royal Arch and swimming at the reservoir in Boulder and a pilgrimage on our last day to our favorite music store “Twist and Shout.”   I loved witnessing the exploration of life that Willa and her friends are so consciously choosing to do and their commitment to help those who are in need. It is so inspiring, proving to me that love, truly does matter and that words can and do make a difference in one’s life. I carry their words with me as I go about my day and think about living my best possible life.